Aug
25

And Today's Lyrics Are Offensive?

By Jason  //  Blues, blues history, Delta Blues  //  4 Comments

7 Blues Songs That Can Make Grandma Blush

Enough to Make Grandma Blush!

Enough to Make Grandma Blush!

I’m sure you’ve heard it before – it’s a consistent anthem of childhood.  Your parents and grand parents comment on the lyrics of today’s music.  It just doesn’t have the same emotions of the old school, or the lyrics of today are downright offensive.

 

Well, truth be told, there are some songs from back in the day that put today’s lyrics to shame.  These 7 choices, originally posted at cracked.com, are surely enough to get you thinking about those old times.

You think Puff Daddy (or whatever he calls himself) is bad?  Is Jay Z offensive to you?  How about Kanye West?

They don’t hold a candle to the likes of Skip James and King Solomon Hill.  

 

 

Here are the top 7 choices as posted by cracked.com.

7. – Skip James cuts a woman in half! – “22-20 Blues” (1931)
This song is about a woman who can’t get her act together.  Good old Skip keeps sending away for her, but she just refuses to show up!  What better way to handle that than brutal murder.  And of course, a simple .38 special isn’t even enough to do the job.  No way.  For this, you need a 22-20.  Of course, later, Robert Johnson would record the song, and up the caliber.
Lyrics from the song:
 Sometimes she gets unruly;
An she act like she just don’t wanna do;
But I get my 22-20;
I cut that woman half in two;
Your .38 Special;
Buddy, it’s most too light;
But my 22-20;
Will make ev’rything, alright;
 
 6. Lucille Bogan has sex with corpses! – “Shave Em Dry” (1935)
This woman was known as the queen of the dirty blues, despite her wholesome appearance.  She wrote a lot of great tunes, including “sloppy Drunk Blues”, and more.  But perhaps hoer most infamous song was ‘Shave Em Dry”, a tune about her legendary humping.  Wow, could she lay it on thick!
Lyrics from the song:
 I got nipples on my titties, big as the end of my thumb;
I got somethin’ between my legs’ll make a dead man come.
 Say I fucked all night, and all the night before baby;
And I feel just like I wanna fuck some more.
Now your nuts hang down like a damn bell sapper;
And your dick stands up like a steeple;
Your goddamn asshole stands open like a church door;
And the crabs walks in like people.
5. King Solomon Hill Requests Woman get Raped by Devil! – “Whoopee Blues” (1932)
A song written about a poor man dealing with a mean woman, King Solomon refuses to settle for simple murder.  Instead, he wants his woman to spend eternity in Hell with the Devil doing his business to her.   He seems to think it is exactly what she deserves…  All because he cared too much.
Lyrics from the song:
Tell me you been gone all day, that you may make whoopee all night;
I’m gonna take my razor and cut your late hours;
You wouldn’t think I’d be servin’ you right.
I said, Undertaker been here and gone, I gave him your height and size;
You be makin’ whoopee with the Devil in Hell tomorrow night.
Baby, you done made me love you, now I got me for your slave;
From now you’ll be makin’ whoopee, deep in your lonesome grave.
4.Josie Miles Unleashes on a City! – “Mad mama Blues” (1924)
Violence against women was obviously a common theme, but sometimes, there is no rhyme or reason for unleashing fury.  Joise shows us no reason for wanting to tear down a city.
Lyrics from the song:
Now I could see blood runnin’;
Through the streets;
Could be everyone;
Layin’ dead right right at my feet.
Give me gunpowder;
Give me dynamite;
Yes I’d wreck the city;
Wanna blow it up tonight.
I took my big Winchester;
Down off the shelf;
When I get through shootin’;
There won’t be nobody left.
3. Stuff Smith Blazes Himself into Oblivion! – “If You’se a Viper” (1936)
Wow!  And your parents think Snoop Dogg is bad.  A common theme of early blues, this pot head makes it well known that he loves to blaze.  Obiviously, since he can’t seem to quite singing about it.
Lyrics from the song:
Talk about a reefer of five feet long;
Not too fat and not too strong.
Now when your throat get dry;
And you know you’re high;
Everything is dandy;
Truck on down to your candy store;
Get you kicks off peppermint candy.
2. Roy Brown has a killing streak – and a gay streak! – “Butcher Pete” (1950)
Roy Brown Gets Murderous and Gay (“Butcher Pete” – 1950)
This song is about a guy who roams the country chopping up all of “the ladies meat” with a “long sharp knife”.  Appartently, he may have questioned his own sexuality… All these double inuindos…
Lyrics from the song:
Ever since Peter flew into town;
He’s been havin’ a ball;
Just cuttin’ and choppin’ for miles around;
Single women, married women, old maids and all.
The police put Pete in jail;
Yes, he finally met his faith;
But when they came to pay his bail;
They found him choppin’ up his cellmate.
1. Blind Willie McTell was a serial killer?!? ” A to Z Blues” (1956)
It starts off simple enough, but tuens into some kind of warped song about killing.  Don’t most blues songs?  This guy really lets the fury out!  He both educates you, and kills – at the same time!  Genious!
Lyrics from the dong:
I’m gonna cut your head four different ways;
That’s long, short, deep and wide.
When I get a rhythm of this rusty black handle razor;
you’re gonna be booked out for an ambulance ride;
Cause I’m gonna cut A, B, C, D on top of your head;
That’s gonna be treating you nice like mama you ain’t gonna be dead.
I’m gonna cut E, F, G right across your face;
H, I, J, K, that’s where runnin’ bound to take place;
Cut L, M, N cross both your arms;
You’ll sell an’ peddle gal your whole life long;
Cut N, O, P, Q that’s gonna be trouble too;
Cause I’m gonna grab you mama and turn you every way but loose;
Cut R, S, T to hear you cry;
That’ll be the last time tears a run from over your eyes;
Cut U, V, W on the bottom of your feet;
That’ll be the last time you walk up an’ down 25th street;
Marking cross your bosom with X, Y, Z;
When I get through with this alphabet;
You’ll quit your messing with me.

 

7. – Skip James cuts a woman in half! – “22-20 Blues” (1931)

This song is about a woman who can’t get her act together.  Good old Skip keeps sending away for her, but she just refuses to show up!  What better way to handle that than brutal murder.  And of course, a simple .38 special isn’t even enough to do the job.  No way.  For this, you need a 22-20.  Of course, later, Robert Johnson would record the song, and up the caliber.

Lyrics from the song:

 Sometimes she gets unruly;

An she act like she just don’t wanna do;

But I get my 22-20;

I cut that woman half in two;

Your .38 Special;

Buddy, it’s most too light;

But my 22-20;

Will make ev’rything, alright;

 

 

 6. Lucille Bogan has sex with corpses! – “Shave Em Dry” (1935)

This woman was known as the queen of the dirty blues, despite her wholesome appearance.  She wrote a lot of great tunes, including “sloppy Drunk Blues”, and more.  But perhaps hoer most infamous song was ‘Shave Em Dry”, a tune about her legendary humping.  Wow, could she lay it on thick!

Lyrics from the song:

 I got nipples on my titties, big as the end of my thumb;

I got somethin’ between my legs’ll make a dead man come.

 Say I fucked all night, and all the night before baby;

And I feel just like I wanna fuck some more.

Now your nuts hang down like a damn bell sapper;

And your dick stands up like a steeple;

Your goddamn asshole stands open like a church door;

And the crabs walks in like people.

 

 

5. King Solomon Hill Requests Woman get Raped by Devil! – “Whoopee Blues” (1932)

A song written about a poor man dealing with a mean woman, King Solomon refuses to settle for simple murder.  Instead, he wants his woman to spend eternity in Hell with the Devil doing his business to her.   He seems to think it is exactly what she deserves…  All because he cared too much.

Lyrics from the song:

Tell me you been gone all day, that you may make whoopee all night;

I’m gonna take my razor and cut your late hours;

You wouldn’t think I’d be servin’ you right.

I said, Undertaker been here and gone, I gave him your height and size;

You be makin’ whoopee with the Devil in Hell tomorrow night.

Baby, you done made me love you, now I got me for your slave;

From now you’ll be makin’ whoopee, deep in your lonesome grave.

 

 

4.Josie Miles Unleashes on a City! – “Mad mama Blues” (1924)

Violence against women was obviously a common theme, but sometimes, there is no rhyme or reason for unleashing fury.  Joise shows us no reason for wanting to tear down a city.

Lyrics from the song:

Now I could see blood runnin’;

Through the streets;

Could be everyone;

Layin’ dead right right at my feet.

Give me gunpowder;

Give me dynamite;

Yes I’d wreck the city;

Wanna blow it up tonight.

I took my big Winchester;

Down off the shelf;

When I get through shootin’;

There won’t be nobody left.

 

 

3. Stuff Smith Blazes Himself into Oblivion! – “If You’se a Viper” (1936)

Wow!  And your parents think Snoop Dogg is bad.  A common theme of early blues, this pot head makes it well known that he loves to blaze.  Obiviously, since he can’t seem to quite singing about it.

Lyrics from the song:

Talk about a reefer of five feet long;

Not too fat and not too strong.

Now when your throat get dry;

And you know you’re high;

Everything is dandy;

Truck on down to your candy store;

Get you kicks off peppermint candy.

 

 

2. Roy Brown has a killing streak – and a gay streak! – “Butcher Pete” (1950)

This song is about a guy who roams the country chopping up all of “the ladies meat” with a “long sharp knife”.  Appartently, he may have questioned his own sexuality… All these double inuindos…

Lyrics from the song:

Ever since Peter flew into town;

He’s been havin’ a ball;

Just cuttin’ and choppin’ for miles around;

Single women, married women, old maids and all.

The police put Pete in jail;

Yes, he finally met his faith;

But when they came to pay his bail;

They found him choppin’ up his cellmate.

 

 

1. Blind Willie McTell was a serial killer?!? ” A to Z Blues” (1956)

It starts off simple enough, but tuens into some kind of warped song about killing.  Don’t most blues songs?  This guy really lets the fury out!  He both educates you, and kills – at the same time!  Genious!

Lyrics from the dong:

I’m gonna cut your head four different ways;

That’s long, short, deep and wide.

When I get a rhythm of this rusty black handle razor;

you’re gonna be booked out for an ambulance ride;

Cause I’m gonna cut A, B, C, D on top of your head;

That’s gonna be treating you nice like mama you ain’t gonna be dead.

I’m gonna cut E, F, G right across your face;

H, I, J, K, that’s where runnin’ bound to take place;

Cut L, M, N cross both your arms;

You’ll sell an’ peddle gal your whole life long;

Cut N, O, P, Q that’s gonna be trouble too;

Cause I’m gonna grab you mama and turn you every way but loose;

Cut R, S, T to hear you cry;

That’ll be the last time tears a run from over your eyes;

Cut U, V, W on the bottom of your feet;

That’ll be the last time you walk up an’ down 25th street;

Marking cross your bosom with X, Y, Z;

When I get through with this alphabet;

You’ll quit your messing with me.

 

 

I hope you enjoyed these.  Quite good!  Thanks, Cracked.com!

4 Comments to “And Today's Lyrics Are Offensive?”

  • Nice Article!

  • Memphis Slim has a song entitled “If You See Kay” – loks like he beat Brittny Spears to the punch by about 45 years!

  • I was wondering what is up with that weird gravatar??? I know 5am is early and I’m not looking my best at that hour, but I hope I don’t look like this! I might however make that face if I’m asked to do 100 pushups. lol

  • It’s “a damn bell clapper”, not a damn bell sapper … which doesn’t even make sense.

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